It's now nearly two months after surgery. I’m still numb on the sides of my face, and the cut marks on my upper eyelids are plainly visible. I expect all of this to fade in time. Two-to-six months to heal completely is a realistic goal—don’t expect less unless you happen to be 25 years old.
After all is said and done, would I do it again in 10 years? I doubt it. However, knowing what I know now about the pain and worry, would I do it the first time? Yes. It was an incredible adventure. And the results have made a real impact on my life. I’m no longer “invisible”—and every woman over the age of 45 knows what I mean (I’ve been told men experience the same things). This really was a result of the surgery—I did research before I went in, noting how often 1. Men looked at my face and didn’t look away, 2. People smiled back on the street, and 3. Attractive women defended their man/territory when I was around before the operation. As an anthropologist and student of sociology, I’m not fooling myself; human females will continue to look for males who will provide them with healthy offspring and are able to protect and provide for them—human males look for healthy, attractive breeders. In American society, where we are constantly bombarded with images of “perfect” people, both male and female, looks count. As a society, we really need to grow up so we can grow old.
As a friend said, “Someone [in our group of friends] has to be the leader,” and it was me—to all those around me considering cosmetic surgery, I hope I’ve brought a little bit of reality to the situation. It’s certainly not a walk in the park, and the MDs—who want to get their hands on you for their own reasons—soft-pedal a lot of the problems and dangers you might face. In their defense, they also can’t predict how people heal (or don’t). And sometimes the work is just plain sloppy: besides the two inches of suture thread I removed myself from my left eyelid, I have noticeable sutures on my right eyelid and may have some stitches behind my left ear and on the back of my head that should have been, but weren’t, removed. Getting an appointment at my hospital is difficult at best—I’m scheduled for September 16 unless I go to the emergency room—pretty typical of HMOs. And all this for voluntary surgery; I’ll be avoiding any type of surgery from now on.
So, in closing, I say you better have a REALLY GOOD REASON to have cosmetic surgery. It’s expensive, it hurts, and it may not change your life in the ways you expect. If you honestly feel you’re being held back at work because of your looks, perhaps you need to search for employment where you feel valued (or figure out why you don’t feel valued). If you haven’t met Mr. Right or Ms. Right, looking better is not going to make the pool of available appropriate mates any bigger. Another friend said it was about aesthetics: making the most of what you’ve got for yourself rather than others; to look as good on the outside as you feel on the inside. That’s as good a reason as any—after all, you’re the one who looks at yourself in the mirror every morning; you might as well love it, with or without surgery.
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